Madam
Jillinghoff’s
Suzie, Suzie, sleepyhead,
Take off your nightgown and climb into bed.
I’ll read you one story,
I’ll sing you two rhymes,
I’ll give you three cookies
And kiss you four times —
Once on your tummy,
Twice on your knees,
And once on the button
That makes you sneeze.
Kitty
I play with my kitty.
She’s so warm and sweet.
She sits in my lap,
And I give her a treat.
I pet her and stroke her
And tickle her nose,
And soon I’m in heaven,
Curling my toes.
My Daughter Dawn
My daughter Dawn
Has nothing on.
Not caring to hide,
She wanders outside,
Where she catches the eye
Of a boy driving by
Who’s so greatly disturbed
That his car jumps the curb
And rolls up on our lawn,
Where it flattens poor Dawn.
Little Johnny Jerk-Off
“Little Johnny Jerk-off,
What are you holding?
If your mother finds out,
She will give you a scolding.”
“She can holler and threaten,
I care not a drop,
For I’d gladly be yelled at
Rather than stop.”
“Little Johnny Jerk-off,
Spurting and dripping.
If your mother finds out,
She will give you a whipping.”
“She can spank me and beat me,
I really don’t mind.
For rather than stop,
I would gladly go blind.”
Over the Hedge
The neighbors’ girl Jude
Hung the laundry out nude,
While her kid sister Rose
Washed the car without clothes.
Was there ever a guy
As happy as I?
Young Anna Partridge
Young Anna Partridge climbed up a tree,
And the boys down below were delighted to see
That her feet, and her legs, and her bottom were bare,
For she had on a dress, but no underwear.
From one narrow angle they were able to catch
A shadowy glimpse of her smooth, hairless snatch.
Did it get them excited? Well, how could it not,
To look up and look at a little girl’s twat?
So, huddled together, they played a new game:
They took out their wieners and jacked till they came.
And many years later, as Christmas drew near,
And carolers caroled, a song caught her ear,
And Anna remembered that spring day when she
Bared the peach on a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
Danielle, Danielle
Danielle,
Danielle,
A pretty
young belle,
Walked
into school one day
Au
naturel.
The
girls said, “Disgusting!”
The boys said, “Hooray!”
And Danielle’s favorite teacher
Gave her an “A.”
My father is a pimp,
My sister makes erotic films,
And I walk with a limp.
I tried to go to college
To have my choice of jobs,
But the Sweater-Breasted Robin said
That college is for snobs.
“Fiddle dee doo!” the Robin sang.
“Fiddle dee doo! Dee-lay!
If you keep your children safe at home,
They’ll never go astray!”
So my mother taught me all she knew,
My sister did the same,
My father got me hooked on smack
And put me in the game.
“Fiddle dee doo!” the Robin sang.
“Fiddle dee doo! Dee doo!
If you keep your children safe at home,
They’ll turn out just like you!”
Anatomy Lesson
Here are the mountains,
Here is the plain,
Here is the well that catches the rain.
Here is the forest,
Here is the bog.
And here’s the tiny acorn —
Oh!
My!
God!
Daddy’s Girl
In nothing but a pair of pumps
I spin around the pole.
The old guys crumple dollar bills
And toss them at my hole.
For twenty, while the music plays,
I’ll lie across your lap,
And writhe and squirm and wriggle till
Your pants are full of sap.
I loved the hungry, haunted stares,
And dancing was a ball.
Then one night Dad showed up and learned
I don’t work at the mall.
He called me “tramp” and “slut” and “whore”
And ordered me back home.
But I was calm, because I knew
Exactly why he’d come.
I took him to the back room for
A special, private show,
And when he staggered out again,
His face was all aglow.
My Daddy gave his favorite girl
A hundred-dollar tip,
To watch his baby strip.
Frumpy Dumpy
Frumpy Dumpy loved a great lay,
Frumpy Dumpy had a great day,
Availing herself of the phallic resources
Of all the king’s men, and all the king’s horses.
Mr. Zee
My homeroom teacher, Mr. Zee,
Touched me inappropriately.
He fondled my pussy, my titties and tail,
And I hope he enjoyed it,
’Cause now he’s in jail.
A Nun’s Story
Sister Grace and Mother Claire
Stayed in bed till evening prayer.
Shrieking rent the convent air.
Who knows what went on in there?
Anatomy Lesson, Too
Here is where the baby eats,
Here is where she grew,
Here’s the little slot
Daddy’s penis went through.
Here is where her Mommy poops,
Here is where she pisses,
And here’s the spot that makes her come,
Which Daddy always misses.
Spanky and Wanky
Spanky and Wanky, identical twins,
Were perfect sluts with chiseled chins,
And shapely butts and luscious tits
And silver rings on hairless slits.
Each one had a special kink,
But wait: It’s not quite what you think.
For clarity and sense were lost
When their
fetishes and names were crossed.
Spanky liked to wank the cock
Of everyone from nerd to jock,
While Wanky loved to spank their cans
With paddles, straps, or her bare hands.
Which led to great confusion when
The sisters went on dates with men
Who didn’t know what to expect
And whose requests were incorrect.
“Spank me, Spanky!” they would say,
But Spanky turned and walked away.
Or “Wanky,” they’d say, “wank me off,”
And Wanky’d only sit and scoff.
At last, the girls grew sick of it
And said together, “Fuck this shit!
Let’s stay inside, and lose the clothes,
And give each other cheery O’s.”
So “Wank me, Spanky,” Wanky said,
And Spanky gave her sister head.
And “Spank me, Wanky!” Spanky cried,
And Wanky tanned her sister’s hide.
Piddle Piddle Pumpkin
Piddle piddle pumpkin, fair Siobhan
Slept in the meadow with nothing on
Except for a pair of green-striped socks,
Milquetoast Mort
Was very short.
His wife was very svelte.
And every night
He bound her tight
Mary
baked a cherry pie.
Carrie
told her, “So did I.”
“Oh!”
said Mary. “How divine!
I’ll eat
yours if you eat mine.”
The
hungry girls lay side by side
And ate
each other’s cherry pie.
Their
fingers and their faces, too,
Were
quickly smeared with cherry goo,
And when
they sucked their cherry stones,
They
filled the house with sighs and groans.
Anna Crusis
Anna Crusis washed her hoosis
Lying in the tub.
She dug the way the shower spray
Massaged the swollen nub.
From Washington and Oregon
To Maine and Carolina,
There never grew a tweener who
Had such a clean vagina.
© 2012 By Jacqueline Jillinghoff
Comments to starryeyed10@juno.com
In final form March 14, 2012